Have you ever asked yourself:
How do I actually become a more loving person?
Not just emotionally.
Not just when I feel good.
But consistently. Deeply. Christlike.
Pam and I just moved from Tucson to Boston after 13 years of ministry. Those final weeks in Tucson were full of goodbyes. It’s amazing how quickly 13 years can compress into a handful of conversations.
And you know what mattered most?
Not the programs.
Not the events.
Not the numbers.
What mattered most was this:
Did I love people?
And did they know it?
That’s it.
Everything else fades.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here:
334. How to Become a Truly Loving Person (It’s Not What You Think)
The Goal Is Love
In 1 Timothy 1:5, Paul writes:
“The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.”
Notice something important:
Love is not the starting point.
It’s the outcome.
Love grows from something.
If you want to grow in love, you have to cultivate the right soil.
Paul gives us three components:
- A pure heart
- A good conscience
- A sincere faith
Let’s break that down.
1. Love Comes From a Pure Heart
Proverbs says:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Your words shape your heart.
Before leaving Tucson, Pam and I made a decision. We were going to publicly encourage every person who came to church. Every single one.
Even people we’d had awkward moments with.
Even people where there had been tension.
We decided to speak only life.
And something happened.
Our feelings changed.
Encouragement purified our hearts.
If you want to grow in love, start with your words.
Tomorrow, make this decision:
The next person I see, I’m going to say something uplifting.
Watch what it does to you.
2. Love Grows With a Good Conscience
It’s hard to be loving when you’re hiding something.
If you’re carrying guilt…
If you’re living in compromise…
If you’re covering up…
You won’t feel free.
You won’t feel generous.
You’ll feel guarded.
I hate making the call to confess sin. I really do. Every time.
But every time I do, something lifts.
A clean conscience produces freedom.
Freedom produces love.
If your love feels blocked, ask yourself:
When’s the last time I was completely honest about my life?
Sensitivity is a gift.
If your conscience still bothers you, that means you’re alive.
3. Love Flourishes Through Sincere Faith
Paul contrasts love with “meaningless talk.”
You can talk spirituality and not be loving.
You can debate theology and not be loving.
Sincere faith shows itself in action.
Romans 5 says:
“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
That’s the ruler.
That’s the measuring stick.
And here’s something fascinating.
Seneca, the Stoic philosopher who lived around the time of Christ, wrote:
“Without a ruler to do it against, you won’t make the crooked straight.”
You need a standard.
Jesus is that standard.
When I look at Him, I see where I need to grow.
And that’s not discouraging — it’s clarifying.
If You Want to Become More Loving
Here’s where to start:
- Watch your words
- Guard your eyes
- Keep your conscience clean
- Surround yourself with spiritual people
- Build sincere faith
Love is not an emotion you chase.
It’s fruit that grows.
🎧 Listen to the full message here:
334. How to Become a Truly Loving Person (It’s Not What You Think)
Wouldn’t it be amazing if people described you as deeply loving?
It won’t happen accidentally.
But it will happen if you cultivate:
A pure heart.
A good conscience.
A sincere faith.
And when you do, love won’t be something you try to perform.
It will be who you are.
Have a great day — and make this life count.
— Rob
